connecting to MSN Messenger

[First Last]

I have a problem, I want to connect to a friend on MSN Messenger, but I can't.I am logged into my windows live ID and add my friend as [xyz at hotmail.com], but while he appears as constantly offline to me, he tells me by another way that he is actually using MSN Messenger right now.

I myself cannot use MSN Messenger because I have windows XP and it forces me to update to the latest version, but fails because that requires windows vista or windows 7.

How can I connect to my friend?

Thanks!
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